Hilaria Baldwin Wrote Letters to Kids In Case ‘Something Happened’ to Her and Alec Amid Rust Trial

During the latest episode of the Baldwin family’s TLC series, The Baldwins Hilaria and Alec returned home after his charges in the trial were dismissed and shared some of the “what ifs” that went through their minds.

Hilaria admitted that she wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, telling the cameras, “This is going to sound so stupid but I wrote the kids — that I left here — little letters and hid them. I told my friend where they were in case something happened to us.”

Alec and Hilaria share seven children together: Carmen, 11, Rafael, 9, Leonardo, 8, Romeo, 6, Eduardo, 4, María, 4 and Ilaria, 2. Their eldest previously voiced her concerns on screen about the legal issues involving her father.

“Carmen asked me last night, ‘When daddy goes to New Mexico, do I say goodbye to him? Do I say goodbye to him in a special way?'” Hilaria recalled before getting emotional. “[She was so afraid] that when Alec and I go into court that somebody is going to shoot us.”

In a previous episode, Hilaria also recalled how much Alec struggled in the initial months following the shooting.

“I found these text messages the other day between us and the day after he said he wanted to kill himself,” she revealed. “He has survivor’s guilt … He wishes it were him. He would change places in a second.”

Hilaria continued, “This has affected his health and his mental health tremendously. In the past few years, he has had heart problems and, multiple times, he fainted.”

Alec charged in January 2023 with involuntary manslaughter in cinematographer Halyna Hutchins’ death. The actor was holding the prop gun that was fired on the movie set in October 2021, which killed Hutchins and injured director Joel Souza, but has insisted he’s not responsible for the incident.

He pleaded not guilty and the charges were dropped in April 2023, but he was indicted again in connection with the death of Hutchins. The second case was ultimately dismissed by the judge and Alec has since filed a lawsuit accusing the prosecution team of malicious prosecution and civil rights violations.

“The past three years has been a significant chunk of my children’s lives,” Hilaria said in February episode of the show. “Our older ones were much younger, but have had the awareness because of their age to be able to understand what’s going on. The youngest three don’t know a life without this.”

Alec, meanwhile, lamented on how “everything was so different before” the shooting.

“Our lives are very, very different,” he said. “Our children have been forced to recognize that. They’ve been forced to deal with that, with us, in their own way.”

The Baldwins airs on TLC Sundays at 10:00 p.m. ET.