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“I want my kids to be kids. I see how important that is now. I didn’t understand that growing up, and I want to protect them so much,” Barrymore said of raising her daughters.
Just like so many moms, Drew Barrymore is her own toughest critic.
During Monday’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, the actress spoke with Teen Mom: The Next Chapter stars Briana DeJesus and Mackenzie McKee about not wanting her kids to repeat some of the same mistakes she said she made growing up.
“In seeing a preview for that show, I saw something that I say out loud too, and it was, ‘Oh my god. I don’t want my kids to do what I did,'” Barrymore, who shares daughters Olive, 12, and Frankie, 10, with ex-husband Will Kopelman, said after watching a trailer for the MTV show’s latest season. “And so when I saw that, I wanted to have a conversation with you guys about that.”
“When I saw that, I was very triggered in the sense of I’m finally getting prouder of who I am now,” she continued. “I am not ashamed of who I was but then when it comes to my kids, it’s like I have no grace for myself.”
“When I look at my Nova, who is now 13, I see myself,” DeJesus responded. “I’m just like, ‘Why was I doing all these grown-up activities at such a young age?’ I see Nova as a baby, and I was a baby. Why was I having sex at 13 years old?”
“Where were my parents to help guide me in the right direction?” DeJesus asked, prompting a hug from the notoriously touchy-feeling Barrymore.
“I have to hug you. I do. This is so healing and wonderful,” the 50 First Dates star gushed.
Elsewhere in the conversation, Barrymore said she feels like she can’t let her kids be “crazy” in the same way as she was.
“It’s like a switch flipped when I had kids, and I can’t let my kids be so young and wild,” Barrymore said told the pair.
“I want my kids to be kids and to be selfish and live a kid life,” DeJesus added.
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While McKee — who announced she’s expecting twins with fiancé Khesanio Hall — said she had a more sheltered upbringing, it didn’t prevent her from getting pregnant as a teen, prompting her to have a more open dialogue with her three children, whom she shares with her ex-husband Josh.
“Just because you are not having conversations doesn’t mean it’s not happening,” McKee said. “I wasn’t having any conversations in my house. So the first conversation of even ‘I’ve kissed a boy,’ was ‘I’m pregnant.’ And that was really, really hard, because my mom was like, ‘Wait, what? We haven’t even talked about these things.”
She continued, “So I just keep that very open line of communication. And I wanted to be ten steps ahead. Because whether we think they’re being exposed to this stuff or not, unfortunately you send them out to the real world, they are. So I feel like it’s my job as a mom to teach my now pre-teens, how to survive out there.”
Barrymore’s upbringing was much different than that of her guests and even her kids, as life as a young actress in Hollywood led her to emancipate herself from her parents at 14. And while it’s been many years since she was roaming Studio 54 with her mom, Jaid, she admitted she hasn’t really forgiven herself yet for her own childhood.
“Actions have consequences, and I think I wasn’t willing to blame anyone else. If I had blamed somebody else, I would have forgiven them by now. And I haven’t forgiven myself, and it’s really hard,” Barrymore admitted.
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“I want my kids to be kids. I see how important that is now. I didn’t understand that growing up, and I want to protect them so much. Putting the time in,” she continued. “Being willing to put the time in. I think that’s been a huge recipe for me is like keep making that daily investment in your kid. Being present.”
It’s a sentiment DeJesus shares, after telling the TV host that she wants to give her daughters the attention and validation she didn’t get growing up.
“I want to make sure that my kids feel heard. I want them to feel seen. I want them to feel loved. I want them to feel validated because I didn’t have that as a child, and I think that’s why I did the things that I did because I was searching for it somewhere else,” DeJesus replied.
“So for me in my mind, I’m like if I give this to them, they’re not going to go outside looking for it elsewhere because they have it at home,” the reality star, who also is a mom to daughter, Stella, added. “I want my home to be a safe environment for my children. And I’m able to do that and I’m proud of myself for that.”
Teen Mom: The Next Chapter is currently streaming on MTV.
